


Can't live without you

by AwesomeAlex



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post Reichenbach, Suicide attempt?, Suicide maybe, Tissue Warning, i can't think of any more tags, will he won't he?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-17
Updated: 2013-08-19
Packaged: 2017-12-23 19:49:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/930385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AwesomeAlex/pseuds/AwesomeAlex
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Okay so basically post Reichenbach, John has finally had enough and decides to end it all. That's all I am giving you.<br/>((The title is so cheesy.))</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Who the hell wrote this? It wasn't me…..*Hides*

John couldn't take it anymore, couldn't bare the loneliness. He had managed to last 3 years but now each day was a struggle even to get out of bed, he had quit his job in the middle of last year and since then he had been living on money Mycroft was putting into his account each month, the doctor hated that he now had to rely on Mycroft but work was no longer an option for John. He used to care about work, care about helping people but now he just couldn't find it in him. He had tried therapists and anti-depressants and yes it had helped but John still felt like a part of him was missing and it would never be filled by anything ever again.

He had tried finding someone knew, every week he would go down to the local pub and try to look for someone new but it would never work out. No matter who John dated all he could think about was that they weren't Sherlock. One girl, it had lasted a year. Mary her name was, she was lovely, everything John wanted in a partner but it was never going to work out. John just couldn't allow himself to fall in love, not after the last time. 

So on the third anniversary of the fall, John visited Sherlock’s grave for the last time. He laid down flowers and sat there for hours in silence. He refused to cry even though that is all he wanted to do, he told Sherlock about his plan to end his own life because without the detective it was not worth living. Once John had said everything he wanted he left the cemetery and returned home to Baker Street, once he was inside he made sure to lock the front door before he walked to the living room and sat down in his arm chair. He looked around the living room, boxes of Sherlock’s stuff still in piles around the edge of the room. His hand shook slightly as he picked the gun up off of the coffee table; he looked at it for a few minutes before pressing muzzle of the gun against his forehead. He shut his eyes and took a few shallow breaths, he was about to pull the trigger when the doorbell rang.


	2. Honey I'm Holmes.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Admit it, the chapter title made you smile right?
> 
> I don't know what to put here, John punches Sherlock though so that's fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this is super messy, I wanted to get it up tonight so I rushed it a bit so I am not entirely happy with it but like I said I wanted to post it tonight. (I get so nervous when I post fanfics it's unreal)

John reluctantly put the gun put the gun back down on the coffee table and stood, he would answer the door and tell whoever it was to go away. He tried to think of who it might be as he walked to the door, he was sure Mrs Hudson was out for the weekend visiting her sister and other than her no one else really came to the flat uninvited. Once he reached the door he hesitantly unlocked it and pulled it open, nothing couldn’t of prepared him for what he saw. 

Standing in front of him was none other than Sherlock Holmes, perfectly well and breathing. John’s mouth fell open at the sight of the detective who was now smiling. 

“Hello.” The taller man said, still smiling. John couldn’t believe it, almost didn’t want to believe it. He slammed the door in Sherlock’s face and took a step back, he shook his head in disbelief, he had finally gone mad. After a few moments the door knocked again and the sound made John jump but he recovered quickly and pulled the door open again. 

“John was shutting the door in my face really necessary?” Sherlock asked and that’s all it took for John to lunge forward and hit the taller man square in the jaw making him fall backwards. John looked down at him before disappearing off into the kitchen; Sherlock stood and rubbed his jaw as he walked into the living room. 

He took a good look around; the flat was almost the same as when he had left except a few things missing here and there including his precious skull, he made a mental note to ask John where it was a little later on since he was sure now was not the best of times. 

John walked into the living room with a bag of peas in his left hand, his face was emotionless and even for Sherlock it was hard to tell if the man was still angry. The doctor held out the peas and Sherlock took them with a nod of the head before pressing the cold bag to his jaw. 

After a few minutes of them just staring at each other John decided he needed to say something, anything. “Why now?” Is what he came up with. 

“Take a seat John and I will explain.” Sherlock answered, moving back to sit on the couch. He had defiantly missed then couch. 

John shook his head and turned to face Sherlock fully. “I don’t need to sit down; I need you to explain to me how you are sitting alive in our living room when I specifically remember going to your funeral and watching your body go into the ground.” John said as calmly as possible, even though all he wanted to do was shout and scream at the younger man. 

“I had to make a choice John…” Sherlock began, “I do not regret the choice I made and nor will I ever. Moriarty was going to kill you, kill Mrs Hudson. Kill everyone close to me.” He continued, his eyes moving away from John to look down at the gun on the coffee table. “You were about to do something stupid, I did not do all this so you could just go and shoot yourself in then head.” 

John shook his head and started pacing, trying to work out exactly what was happening right now. “You left me! You left me here on my own for three years! Three fucking years.” John spat. “I saw you jump, I checked your pulse.” John added. 

“For that I am sorry, you were never meant to see that. I told you to go and see Mrs Hudson; I should have known you would come after me.” Sherlock replied quietly. “Killing yourself would not of been the answer though John.”

John shook his head; he could have almost laughed at that. “Why do you care?” He questioned. “Why are you even here? Why now?” 

“I had to defeat Moriarty’s web, make sure everyone was safe before coming home. Before coming back to you.” Sherlock answered, honestly. 

John sat down in his arm chair, he couldn’t stand up any longer. His head felt like it was spinning, he just couldn’t process how his previously dead best friend was sat across from him. Tears gathered in John’s eyes and he wiped the away, he refused to cry in front of Sherlock. 

“John I know this will be hard for you to take in but I need you to understand that what I did I did for you.” Sherlock said, dropping the bag of peas on the seat next to him. “To save you.” He added and stood, walking over to John who was now staring up at him with teary eyes. “I am sorry that it took so long for me to return but I assure you I will not be leaving again unless absolutely nessarcy.” He promised the doctor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I am going to leave it there, I hope this wasn't too bad. Like I said I am not a writer I just like to write.   
> There will be a third and final part that I will be posting sometime next week (Sorry you have to wait so long but I have school.)

**Author's Note:**

> OMG DOES JOHN ANSWER THE DOOR? I DON’T EVEN KNOW YET. 
> 
> Okay so I know this is super short but the next chapter will be longer I promise. 
> 
> I was really unsure about posting this, like even writing this right now I am still deciding on whether or not to post it. 
> 
> I will be putting the sequel up to 'Jam' in the middle of next week sometime so look out for that.
> 
> Thanks for reading this and I hope you enjoyed it.


End file.
